I recently had an epiphany that opened my eyes to the reason I find myself in the midst of an awkward conversation that never makes me any new acquaintances. Often times I've blamed this phenomenon on my ADHD making my mind race trying to make a personal connection that can't be made without the initial conversation; making it ever more clear that I'm not a psychic. Although if we're friends you know that I'll still stand there, and not even be staring at my phone; like everyone else in the room, and say nothing. Well I'm always wanting to say something. However through my vast experience of speaking before thinking this has turned out quite badly. I've had many fights with a really good friend of mine because when I speak without thinking the form of speech is usually argumentative. It's the easiest and most thoughtless way to communicate for one person, and for the other it is usually being far overthought. This has turned out to be a great epiphany in the past as well where I discovered that I'm not as intelligent when I talk. If I keep my mouth shut at least there is the mystery of whether I am intellectual. Though usually if it turns out that I know what is being discussed it's because I've overheard a similar conversation before and I have no actual knowledge on the subject. If there is a worse feeling than being the ignoramus of your group of friends please feel free to share.
The enlightenment that I talked about earlier about awkward conversations, allow me to talk about that. I'm always meeting new people. In fact I'm starting my last semester of my undergraduate degree in a few weeks. I'll be meeting people in every single one of these classes. And in my lab I'll be expected to have a partner, if that's not some personal time with someone then you're doing labs wrong. The dilemma of meeting new people is first trying to remember their names. Not everyone can remember everything they hear or see without repetition. I'm one of those people who can't. I've found that there are several techniques out there, but they all feel just as awkward as having nothing to say. I want to be able to have a conversation without having to say that persons name 10 times. So remembering someone's name is so much easier if you know something personal about them. This is also how to avoid awkward first conversations if you were beginning to wonder. Walking up to someone and only introducing yourself is fine and dandy if you don't give two shits about knowing them. The same boring dialogue of, "Hi, I'm Ryan, it's nice to meet you" is so shallow that if it were a puddle on the side of the road I'd avoid stepping in it unless it was necessary to get by. If I walked up to a girl on the first day of class and asked her I could sit next to her because she looks smart; instantly she either deny that she's smart or she'll acknowledge that you've made a good assessment, jokingly. Of course there is a third option where you ask that and she says that she's saving the seat for her sorority sisters. However if the first two are true, I'd get a seat and then I can follow up with my name in which case I'd also get hers. From here the next step is to ask what year she is and where she grew up. If that's all I get to ask before class starts I'm still golden. Next class I can greet her by name and ask her how the rest of her classes are.
"Always be curious about other people. They always have a story to tell." I wish I could say I've lived my life up to this point by this motto. I haven't. I've only just realized that I want too so that I can live a more fulfilling life, day-to-day..
